Tomorrow I will be starting my fourth round of Whole30.
I have mixed feelings about it, too.
I’ve done it three times and though I am one of those people who don’t seem to experience the famed “tiger’s blood”, I know that I have both lost weight and felt better by the end of each one. Some of the ways I feel better include:
- fewer headaches (if any)
- better digestion (read: no constipation or difficult bowel movements…ewww, gross…moving on!)
- feeling fuller for longer periods of time (no impulses to snack between meals!)
- no awful sugar crashes or rushing heart rates
And despite what people say, I agree with what the Whole30 website says…it’s not hard. Losing my grandparents – that was hard. I still struggle with grief sometimes and my Poppa has been gone the longest – five years this April. Naturally birthing my babies – that was hard. Probably the hardest things I’ve ever physically done. But exercising self-control and discipline when it comes to food…that’s a good thing. Depriving myself of the five food groups the program asks you to eliminate from your diet for 30 days is so temporary. If I’ve learned anything since becoming an adult with adult responsibilities (read: a momma), it’s that 30 days goes by soooooo quickly!
Despite knowing and believing these things and having experienced three rounds already, I find myself kind of dreading tomorrow.
Since last July, I’ve been indulging with little to no self-control. I’ve been lazy, quite frankly. There were some health issues that played into that…for most of the month of July 2017 (when I was supposed to do my fourth round originally) and well into August, I felt like a walking zombie. With a TSH of 153.4…well, can you blame me? (If you don’t already know, a normal TSH is between 1.0-3.0 – a person can start feeling bad at a TSH of 4.0 and absolutely awful at a TSH of 10.0. That gives you some perspective.) Just getting out of bed each day…lifting an arm or a leg…took massive willpower and the knowledge that I just didn’t have a choice.
Though I just had more blood work with results showing a TSH of 13, I at least have the energy to cook again. I have the energy to be more responsible with my eating…but now it’s become an emotional…sin problem.
I go to food A LOT when I’m struggling emotionally and with a hypothyroid problem…well, let’s just say I’m on an intense emotional roller coaster. So I’ve been turning to food a lot in search of comfort and consolation I should have been seeking from God alone. I’ve made
food certain foods idols in my life and justified it.
Well, one of my cousins had a heart attack recently and he’s only two to three years older than me.
Yesterday I realized…or admitted to myself openly…that I can’t climb the stairs in our home without being out of breath when I reach the top. We don’t have that many stairs. We won’t discuss the problems I have when I’m talking to someone as I’m climbing. Or when I’m carrying one of my toddlers because he or she refuses to climb the stairs as he or she is fully capable of doing on his or her own.
Y’all…it’s embarrassing that I’ve even let myself go to this point.
Yesterday I finished listening to episode 56 of The Jennifer Allwood Show podcast. She was talking with stylist Chastity Stemmons and it was both eye-opening and convicting. It probably would have brought me to tears if I hadn’t been multi-tasking while listening. It’s hard to focus 100% when you have two toddlers demanding your attention. I wonder if anyone would contribute to a GoFundMe if I set one up so I could afford to get Chastity’s help…haha! Just kidding…I wouldn’t set up a GoFundMe for something so selfish. I’m not kidding about wanting her help, though! Seriously. She is just full of wisdom and God’s joy. You need to listen to the episode because I will have to listen again and take notes if I’m going to share all the gold nuggets in that talk. All of that to say, it hit me hard that I’m not reflecting the truth about how God views me as His daughter. I haven’t been reflecting His love for me and I sure as shootin’ haven’t been treating my body as the temple He says it is.
So, despite all the challenges I know I’m about to face with this “Round 4” of Whole30, I’ve made my meal plan for the next week. I’ve made my shopping list. I’m resolved.
I’m resolved to do it for my God.
I’m resolved to do it for my family.
I’m resolved to do it for myself.
Now, don’t say I didn’t warn you if I’m a little extra moody during the inevitable detox I’ll experience the next two weeks…m’kay?