Nobody Tells You

Nobody tells you how to remain emotionless during a house hunt. Maybe it’s because nobody knows. Regardless, it’s a struggle for me that I never expected.

I never expected to walk into a stranger’s house with the intent to inspect every nook and cranny to determine whether it would be suitable for my family or not and to leave with emotional strings attached.

Maybe I’m the only one with this problem? Surely not…but then, again, I am a super emotional person. That’s been an issue I’ve dealt with my entire life. Something to do with my out of whack thyroid gland…

Anyway…moving on.

We put in our fourth offer today on a house that we felt we had a good chance on because it was advertised incorrectly. Lots of good feels with that house. Then someone had to go make a much higher cash offer that there was no way we could fight. Boo.

Maybe I should ask Siri or Google or…you:

How do you hunt for a house to call home without getting emotionally attached? Seriously. I’m asking for answers or suggestions here because we’re, technically, only a week in and I am emotionally frazzled.

When we walk up to a home I’m asking myself two questions: do I feel happy walking up to this house? Is it inviting (because I actually want my family and friends to want to come over)? Okay…there’s a third question: does it feel safe?

When we walk in: am I walking into an open, inviting space or a long, dark tunnel? Long dark tunnels are bad. Too claustrophobic.

When we first see the main living space: will I be able to have eyes on my children if we’re not in the same room? Is it spacious for entertaining larger groups or super cozy and more amenable to smaller groups? Is the flooring going to be easy or hard to keep clean? Does it have a fireplace for those rare, cold Texas evenings? Does it have a mantel that I can decorate in a wonderfully welcoming, homey way (i.e. hanging holiday or special occasion banners across, hanging stockings at Christmas, hanging a family portrait above, etc.)? Is there room for my piano?

When we first see the kitchen: is this a space I can see myself spending hours cooking, baking and cleaning? I love to cook and bake and can make quite a mess to clean. If I’m going to spend so much of my day in there, I want to like the space, gosh darn it!! Does it have enough counter space? Storage space? Does it have a decent pantry? Does it have a pantry at all?

When we walk into the bedrooms and bath (not the master and en suite): will the kids’ furniture fit? Will they have room to play? Will they be comfortable? Do the closets have decent space for clothes and other things? How accessible are they?

When we walk into the master bedroom and bath: does this feel like a retreat, a special place for my husband and myself? Are there two sinks – so we don’t get in each other’s way? Separate tub and shower? How big are the tub and shower? (Yes, that’s important, but I’m keeping this G.) Walk-in closet?

I want my family to be comfortable and happy. I want to be able to serve my family well as homemaker. I want to LIKE my space because I’m in it 24/7/365. I’ll be honest. If there’s a lot of work that needs to be done in order to make that possible, I shy away from it. We don’t have the funds or the time or the energy or the DIY know-how to make those changes. Living in a reno zone…ugh. Please no! So the houses I like the most tend to be the ones that are move-in ready.

Maybe I want too much. Maybe I’ve made an idol out of it. I don’t think I have, but that’s the thing about idols. We tend to be really good at justifying them.

Maybe I’m not trusting that God wants what is best for us and has the perfect house waiting right around the corner if I would just lie down the control I think I have and trust Him.

God…help me in my unbelief.

Perhaps I fear that what God has planned really isn’t as good as what I can find myself.

But then we hadn’t planned to have two children already and I can’t imagine life without our babies.

Heavenly Father…help me to surrender all of this to You.


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